I hate driving. Especially in a predominantly geriatric town like Prescott, with a bunch of uneducated assholes who can’t drive within the same 20 ft. radius as me, cutting me off and running into my car thrown in just for fun. What’s worse is when you see a car covered with such ribbons as: “Support the Troops,” “Breast Cancer Awareness,” “Autism Awareness,” “POW/MIA,” or “AIDS Awareness.” They've had they're say, now I have mine. Now don’t get me wrong, such symbols exist for a good reason. But seriously, what guarantees that when you buy them, your money actually goes to the cause? I haven’t seen anything indicating that any part of that $1.99 you spent on the ribbon go towards resources for the troops, or fund Autism research? Even if it does, you arrive at the moral dilemma that occurs with the “Livestrong” and all the other bracelets popping up during this fad. If you donate A DOLLAR, you receive a bracelet, so you can flaunt your generosity like you have to prove you’re a good moral person. How about giving for the sake of furthering the cause, not to get some crappy memento.

Now I’m not attacking the ribbon image: the yellow, supporting the troops and pink, Breast Cancer Awareness have been around for as long as I can remember. In my opinion, they’re established and truly good causes. The troops always need our support--we need to do anything we can to assist their efforts on our behalf. And anything attempting to ruin something as wonderful as the female bosom is one of my mortal enemies!

So while we’re at it lets create a ribbon that tells it how it is, something to demonstrate your support of lining the pockets of treacherous CEOs, the “I like money ribbon”: