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Curr: C-3PO
















This was a response to my girlfriend’s sister getting pissed off at me when I stated “C-3PO is the most worthless character in Star Wars saga.” I just thought I'd add to it and post it up here because (1) it’s true, and (2) I have to explain to all you nerds out there that Jar-Jar isn’t the worst character in Star Wars. First off, I am a Pseudo-nerd, I liked Star Wars for about a year before the remake special editions came out, to about a year after Phantom Menace. Why’d I stop? Cause it was suddenly “cool” to like Star Wars, and I’m not going to be apart of some cool fad like all the other tools. If I’m going to like something it’s because I like it, not because everyone including MTV tells me too. FUCK YOU MTV!

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“Me” flipping off MTV. Hey I have Boobs!

Now about Threepio. Where to begin? First the six movies would have been much better if he was like this:

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Shut the fuck off. That way I wouldn’t be telling him to shut the hell up all the time. I also wouldn’t be forced to whoop some C-3PO ass:

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Now a lot of nerds would try to argue, without thinking it through, that Jar Jar is the worst Star Wars character ever. You have to think shitty statements like this thru before you go off spouting them like they’re great ideas. Or else I’ll start calling you John Kerry. Here's a short list of why Threepio is worst than Jar Jar.

 

1. You have to deal with Threepio for six movies, not just three (and Jar Jar has minimal parts in Episode II and III).

2. Threepio makes shitty statements, like “the odds of survival are 3720 to 1,” for no good reason. If Jar Jar makes a shitty statement it’s because he is a shit head.

3. Jar Jar at least united the Naboo and Gungan populations so they destroy the Trade Federation. All C-3PO does is hinder R2’s attempts at saving the day. Okay, fine, he did translate to the Ewoks and get them to join the Rebels, but that was a mistake. Not my fault if those stupid little shits thought he was their God. So the best thing he did was be mistaken for something he isn't. That's something to be proud of.

4. Jar Jar makes fun of Jamicans while Threepio does not.

5. At least with Jar Jar you get evidence of emotion and facial expressions. With Threepio, he’s like Vin Diesel, the same stupid look is always on his chrome-dome head.

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There's also the fact that he is probably the lamest robot ever. With no ability to fight and he can’t do all the cool shit R2 can. Not to mention he’s the gayest robot ever. If Elton John was a robot, he’d probably look like C-3PO. Maybe if Threepio would stop sticking R2 up his ass, he wouldn’t be so lame.

 

C-3PO, YOU’VE JUST BEEN BOOFED!

And not by R2 for once.